so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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