I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
