i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
