I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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