Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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