just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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