3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
