I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Can I color on your dick again?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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