I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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