i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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