Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
