I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize