I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
