i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
