you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
