im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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