I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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