So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
