there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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