Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
