I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
