i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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