I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
