The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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