Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
