I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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