I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
