Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
