a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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