Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize