I'm drive I can fine osifer
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
