Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
