You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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