well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
