He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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