i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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