You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize