Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
