Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
