Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
