So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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