So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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