I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
