I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize