I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
