"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
