dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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