i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
