i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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