Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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