HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Randomize
