yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
