i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize