You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
