Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
