Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
