is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
