i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
