If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
