Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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