I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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