He told me they were just razor bumps!
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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