i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
