Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize