How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
