why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
