did you get engaged???
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
