batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
