I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
