Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
and you fell through a lawn chair
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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